she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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