I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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