matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
