I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
