If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
