2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She made me pour olive oil on her.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
