My underwear smells like fireworks.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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