You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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