i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize