We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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