your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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