Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
