he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
