yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
this will be a night to untag.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
