I cockslap morals
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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