All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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