I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
