Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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