Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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