Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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