Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
