I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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