dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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