I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i came on her dog
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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