My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I deserve this hangover.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
