two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
