I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
