i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
