On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
