I wish I only lived at night.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she smelled like a LAN party
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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