You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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