Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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