Nicole vs. Life
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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