sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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