I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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