I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
