loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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