we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize