gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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