With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
