come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
