Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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