I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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