She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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