I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
