you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
