just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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