We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
