If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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