They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
