We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Nicole vs. Life
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was like getting head from an anaconda
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
