Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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