Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
