Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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