So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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