All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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