Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
